Nancy Grace's Worst Nightmare

I've been watching pieces of the Casey Anthony Trial for weeks. There is much to discuss and nothing seems sure. Regardless of anyone's opinion on whether she should or shouldn't have been found guilty, I have to say I noticed an interesting and very controversial metaphor in all of this. The story is that this mother killed her child in order to be free to live the life she wanted to live.

Now, this may not be a perfect parallel, and it is for that reason that I pose this question. How exactly was what Casey Anthony supposedly did (I'm not arguing whether she did/didn't here)different than abortion? I'm really inquiring because all I see is huge similarities. The country is in an uproar that this woman was able to allegedly murder her 2 year old. But if she had done it 2 years plus a few months prior, the country would have been in an uproar that she has a right to choose. Was Casey Anthony merely 2 years late exercising her right to choose?

I know this always boils down to disagreements about when human beings gain that right biologically. But just a modern life example laying right in front of us of what that decision looks like fast forwarded a few years.

I acknowledge this is an extreme way to put all this and don't mean to sound insensitive. This was just a philosophical extension of thought that came from watching all this coverage.

Enter Summer, Stage Left

As I've less than gracefully, but unexpectedly found myself in the midst of summer, time for an update on those goals from Spring!

I have been running at least 3 times a week, and figured out a training program for a half marathon in October! I'm really looking forward to a challenge like that. Right now I can't even imagine myself running 13 miles. But my knees are giving me some issues so I'm combining a circuit training program with my running to try and build muscles so I can try to get my legs right for such a hard training regimen. Deadline to register is July so I have one more month to make sure I am gonna be able to commit!

I also have discovered I LOVE GARDENING. I don't truly have a garden. Just a collection of mismatched pots. But the plants don't seem to care what their home looks like. They started about 3-6 inches tall. And here are my babies now! (from top to bottom: my little baby green pepper that just emerged!, my zinnas and wildflower mix, and my tomato plant/basil plant/ jalapeno plant)
I'm really proud and even have so much basil growing that I've been looking to give it away! I need to get a blender so I can make PESTO! YUM! So I've discovered a lovely little hobby here. Coming home and watering them every day is even fun for me. And seeing the little ways they change every day.

Haven't done a ton of cultural exploring yet. Still getting more time in my schedule so looking forward to trying that out, especially since my best friend is back in Columbus to explore with me!

I feel like I've done pretty well with my goals. I suppose I should make some summer ones, but isn't part of the great part of summer to feel like you don't have to do anything?

I've been siting on the couch, both enjoying having nothing to do, and at the same time unable to shake the feeling that I should be doing something! If graduate school does nothing else for me, at least I think I will appreciate coming home from work and just enjoying an evening without homework in a way that I would not have done otherwise. I have always had something to do "after school". I had sports practices almost every night of the week growing up, and even during summers. I've always served myself a very full plate time wise. And felt like I owed it to some busy-demi-god to fill in every hour of every day. Now I'm realizing I will be much better served career wise as I focus my energies on those work hours and enjoy the fruits of that labor afterwards in truly what will be FREE time.

So onto a night of nothing to do. I might even just enjoy walking down the street and pick myself up a nice bottle of wine. (after my run of course!)

A Day of Paradox

“In the face of a man’s death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred.” - The Vatican

Last night, the government announced to the world that the U.S. Navy Seals killed Osama bin Laden. And most of the country broke into absolutely crazy celebration. At first, I got chills and my heart beat so fast. And then I teared up thinking of the quiet awesomeness of the moment. And then I jumped on the "GO AMURICA" train and I do understand and feel some of the excitement that was running rampant. I am relieved and even grateful that this man, who created such evil in the world, and caused so much death, is no longer alive to make pain. But it makes me really uncomfortable to see people- civilized, peaceable people- actually celebrating someone's death. It could be one thing to celebrate our gratitude, or the added safety we may have gained. But to actually use words like "joy" and "party" with someone's assassination? That makes us look pretty similar to those who celebrated the death of the 3000 who died September 11th?

Don't we owe more to those people than to degrade their memories with such ugly and base and empty emotions like revenge and hatred? We can celebrate their lives- and that is what makes us better humans than bin Laden was. The reason he killed our citizens was over ideology-- and to assume our ideology is better or more right than others is ridiculous. Trust me, people tell me that about Catholicism all the time. We are human- we don't know that what we believe is any more right. So what's "just" here?

His death was absolutely necessary and I'm incredibly proud of our country for its ability to protect us from the terror and evil around the world. Don't get me even a little wrong about that. I just also feel sad that we had to take a human life- that we were driven to end what should be sacred. That such a life was SO misguided and such religious dedication and fervor was wasted in degradation and disrespect for God's creation that bin Laden was responsible for.

That sounds like a somber responsibility of humanity to me. Not a birthday party. For me, its analogous almost to how 200 years ago, the 4th of July was a somber, scary, sad day for those men who believed their rights so violated that they had to cut ties with their homeland. Those men were not happy about what they did, but it was their responsibility to history.

This is absolutely not a judgment on those feeling other emotions. Just my attempt to evaluate and express my own. I'm reminded a little of Harry Potter's adventure against Voldemort, and how he learned that every time Voldemort killed, he lost a piece of his soul. I will not allow someone else to make me a murderer or a rejoicer in death and revenge. I hope that our respect for the sacredness and dignity of humanity is what makes us as Americans better than Osama bin Laden.

In the midst of businses, hectic-ness, and about losing my head in a vast sea of epidemiologic data. ("Among those who have a history of gall bladder disease, the odds of endometrial cancer among those who also take other drugs and are exposed to dose 3 of estrogen are 4.511 times the odds of those who do not take other drugs and have been exposed to dose 2 of estrogen"...., etc.)

Amidst all of that, and in a time crunch for a midterm and a huge assignment due before I rush off to celebrate a birthday, I shall update on my spring goals. These were my hopes,

A garden. A real one. With peppers, tomatoes, spinach, basil, cilantro, and broccoli. Which when I have been researching has creepily reminded me of playing Farmville because it always says your harvest will be ready in X number of days. But at least hopefully I"ll get to eat the fruits of these efforts, rather than watching those digital plants bloom and harvest with a click.

I did actually do this! And I also have a couple pots of what should grow into good cutting flowers, and some really pretty maroon sunflowers. However, a week and a half into this venture, I had to move my plants so they wouldn't DROWN in the epic downpours we have had. And something ate half of my tomato plant. They seem a bit droopy and I must investigate further what I'm supposed to do about this.

A renewal of this blog. Inspired by the beautiful words of my friends, I want to get back to really thinking. Growing my heart and soul with learning and rumination.

Well, I'm back aren't I? I have done some journaling- and more informal journaling actually about feelings instead of just what I've done and where I've been lately. Will I stick to this? We'll see. Boredom at work is a good reason to! Though lately I cannot say I have been bored, because deadline after deadline seems to jump off the calendar and punch me in the face.

A physical reshaping. I've started this already. Running and circuit training on a more dedicated and challenging schedule. I want to give myself no excuses and really make a true honest effort at changing my body to be just a little better than I've let myself be. Today I ran 4 miles and I was literally high during and afterwards. Soaring.

This worked for a while. And I'm still dedicated to it. Just been so busy that I literally don't have time at night to do anything but homework. So weekends it is. When I'm always driving hither and whither. I also tweaked my knee a little bit. But to make myself feel better I at least do an arm workout before bed as break during homework. So progress... And my diet has been MUCH better! But I gotta make time here. Might be a good time to get in the habit of working out early early before work/school so I stick with it as I get older.

Cultural immersion. I need to eat, breathe, and see the world around me. Art, farmer's markets. All of that. And warm weather brings much more opportunity for that.

Not quite yet. The busy thing again. And the weather thing. But more is to come! And I ALMOST ventured to the local library to do homework the other day...


Back to work! A much needed check-in and I shall throw myself back at these things, at least when there is any left of me throw at anything.

It's been awhile...

I have been hibernating. It's been a cold, vicious winter. Literally- and academically. My brain hasn't had much free power to absorb much deeper thought. Which leaves me feeling even more drained. But we are about to emerge from this winter, and my thoughts and hopes are budding like tulips. These hopes and excitedness are germinating, though, and not quite ready to leap into full explanation on these pages. A brief preview of my big plans for spring...

A garden. A real one. With peppers, tomatoes, spinach, basil, cilantro, and broccoli. Which when I have been researching has creepily reminded me of playing Farmville because it always says your harvest will be ready in X number of days. But at least hopefully I"ll get to eat the fruits of these efforts, rather than watching those digital plants bloom and harvest with a click.

A renewal of this blog. Inspired by the beautiful words of my friends, I want to get back to really thinking. Growing my heart and soul with learning and rumination.

A physical reshaping. I've started this already. Running and circuit training on a more dedicated and challenging schedule. I want to give myself no excuses and really make a true honest effort at changing my body to be just a little better than I've let myself be. Today I ran 4 miles and I was literally high during and afterwards. Soaring.

Cultural immersion. I need to eat, breathe, and see the world around me. Art, farmer's markets. All of that. And warm weather brings much more opportunity for that.

Enough for my goalsetting. Time to start living it.

Well, after finals.